Oh me, oh my. Moz has had a huge impact on my life. I think that's why i hesitated when i got it in my mind to make a page for him. There's..so much. And i can't give it justice. But, i'll try.

Well, believe it or not, i actually DID find Morrissey when i was 16. A little over two years ago. A very sad boy i knew, and that i was very much in love with, was in love with moz and the smiths. He always talked about them, quoted them, and he would sing their songs to me. He made me a tape of mixed smith and moz songs and ..the tape was a form of communication. For the longest time, that tape was all i had. Ask, and 1/2 a person were the songs that stuck out the most for me.

This was summer of 95. One of the toughest times of my life. And there i was, having mental breakdowns, with my trusty moz tape there to accompany me and tori. You know how wonderful it is, when obscure lyrics from a song just click into your life? "Spending warm summer days indoors, writing frightening verse to a bucktoothed girl.." was like, what i felt, my motto of the summer. Because thats what he did. He spent his days indoors writing extremly frightening things..to me (however, i am not bucktoothed!)

I remember when Southpaw Grammar was released. That boy told me that it was a huge dissapointment, but it was good nonetheless..and Southpaw was, for some silly reason, my very first morrissey CD. I found it a difficult CD to adore, but i love the first 3 tracks. The Boy Racer is my little brothers absolute favorite song (he was 4 when he decided that..). Eventually, i decided that i needed to buy Vauxhall and I because i adored the song "now my heart is full," that was put on a random mix tape for me when i was in the 9th grade.

So i bought Vauxhall and i was in absolute LOVE with it. And i have hard time understanding why it doesn't seem to be..well, the fans don't seem to like it a whole lot. I see it's difference's, but that's just an artist growing.
I also remember that issue of Q, where Morrissey had totally cut up his arms and something was carved into his chest. At the time i was a very fragile girl, and those pictures had a huge impact on me. And him.

Then one day i was driving to my old friend's house and the mix tape he made me was playing. All of a sudden i hear a "click." The tape stopped. When i went to see what had happened, i saw that the tape had..well snapped. I couldn't help but take it as a sign. From that point on me and..that boy..hardly spoke again...

So la. Morrissey (just like tori & sarah) will always be that boy for me. It's a sad thing..when you can't quite let go. Anyhow. Moving right along..::insert the fraggle rock song::

The next Moz CD i got was Kill Uncle. My step mother bought it..just to be nice. And it was an instant favorite. With ask and driving your girlfriend home, i knew morrissey had ..this quality about him..that would keep me a fan for a pretty long time..

This past christmas my mother was buying me CD's while we were out shopping. Somehow i managed to pick up the rest Morrissey's CDs all at once. I never really gave them much of a listen. This past may i became EXTREMLEY close to Bona Drag. The only album i haven't listened to much is Viva Hate. And im not sure why...

So then, about a month ago. KROQ announced that Morrissey would be dropping off his new album on this particular date. I grabbed 2 of my friends and forced them to come with me. I just..wanted to see him. I got there 2 hours before he was supposed to arrive. Now, i had heard..things about the fans, their attitudes..and to tell you the truth, i was afraid of them. But the very first one i met was an extremley sweet girl that was all earthy. Over the next 2 hours about 100 people showed up..the fans that were there early were pretty nice, but the ones that came later were sort of ..mean. BUT anyhow..it was time for him to be on the radio..and he was nowhere to be spotted. To make a long story short, the radioshow which they INSISTED was live, was pre-taped. It was an amazing dissapointment.

However, i sat out there in the sun, and listened to the interview with..near 100 fans. It was an amazing experience. The first moment that he spoke..to see everyones faces light up and smile..a few cried. It was so touching. That's when i first heard alma matters. I was in love with it on the spot. I haven't heard it since. But i can still sing it to myself. I can't wait until the album comes out next week, so i can grow with moz..a little more.

So over the course of...2 years..but also ..just a few months..my love and respect for the voice, the man..morrissey..has grown...immensley. I have found him to be, one of the most beautiful people alive on this earth. He is soooooooooooo beautiful. He has the most, soothing voice. He's just. God, i cant describe it. I just wanna run up to him, give him a big hug and say "thanks." Then i think i'd feel pretty complete. As complete as i can be..without my morrissey boy.

_-To be Continued_-